A Romance Shadowed by Life’s Uncertainties
No words spoken
Derek leaves Thailand after a holiday romance with Toy, after a warm farewell party and a silent, emotion-filled journey to the airport. Friends gather to see him off, ensuring Toy won’t be alone. Back in England, the indifference and unfriendliness of people is in stark contrast to the warmth and helpfulness Derek experienced in Thailand.
His doctor credits his medication for his apparent improved health. Derek had not taken a single tablet during his entire holiday. The doctor’s optimism fades quickly when a routine check raises concerns about Derek’s heart. Added to this, a stalled house sale remains the critical obstacle standing between Derek and his return to Toy.
I was pleased Toy’s party had gone so well. I thought that the tear in her eye showed so much more than words could convey.
In two days’ time I would be boarding a plane back to England. I was going to find it hard to leave her after such an enjoyable time together. Was this going to be just a holiday romance? A fling soon to be forgotten? I hoped not. Was it fair on Toy for us to get so involved when I had yet to sort out the house sale? Without that sale, I would not be able to return to Thailand or to Toy.
That was going to be difficult for me to come to terms with. I believed she felt the same. I definitely hoped so.
I had become drunk on the national culture: the sun, the food, and the people. Toy had shown so much love and care towards me. I had been so heartless in my first days to doubt her.
I was facing a reality check. Would I see her again once this holiday was over? I wanted time to stop and think. I needed to sort my life out; and I wanted that life to include Toy. It all depended on the house sale. I could not get away from that. I’m not sure Toy saw the problem as clearly as I did.
To distract myself from the emotions I was feeling, I suggested paying a visit to Mali’s half-built home and spent some time at Pakpao’s house warming. There were so many of her friends there. It became more of a farewell bash for me than anything else. It took my mind off my real thoughts.
Perhaps I was mistaking typical Thai friendliness and thinking too much that I was the centre of attention. Thais make farangs feel important at weddings and funerals. It does not take anything away from the actual event itself.
On my last day, there was a distinct silence. Neither of us were acknowledging that the day of my leaving had arrived. I handed Toy some clothes, saying I will not need these in the UK but will need them when I return. Looking into her eyes, I could see that this small gesture comforted her. It may also have signaled that she knew that she had me hooked.
Without saying a word to each other, we sat quietly as we journeyed to the airport. After checking in my luggage, we made our way to the departure lounge hand in hand. Kanya and two of her friends were waiting to see me off. It was a nice thought and meant that Toy would not be alone on leaving the airport. I am not very good at leave-taking so I quickly kissed Toy and assured her that I would return.
I did not know whether she believed me or not. Were my words empty of meaning? On later reflection, I think her female intuition would have picked up how I felt about her, and that she had already secured what Kanya had referred to as “a new husband for yourself and a father for me.”
Toy, Kanya, and her friends gave me the traditional wai and I walked briskly through the gate to departures. With just one quick glance over my shoulder and a wave to the lady I knew I was going to miss dearly, I walked out of their view.
Was I also walking out of their lives? I admitted to myself that the home sale, my health, my relationship with my son, and the state of my finances had to be considered.
If my health deteriorated, I would not be able to stay in my job at the bank. Could I then afford to emigrate? Could I leave my son? I cannot put it in plain words to you but I felt that Toy was convinced we would eventually be together.
In less than twenty minutes, I was high over the Thai countryside. In just over two hours, I’d be on my connecting flight back to London and an uncertain future.
After a long trek through Heathrow airport, and an uncomfortable journey across the London underground, I eventually boarded the train for Sussex. The first thing I did on arriving home was to turn my computer on, and send a text to Toy to say I had got home safely.
I could not help thinking about my journey from London to the South Coast and comparing it to my time in Thailand. The exasperation and commotion at Heathrow was a vivid contrast. No smiles, no helpful responses if you were lost or needed help. There were lots of people complaining but getting nowhere; very different from the Thai people’s more carefree and helpful attitude of mind.
It is true that I’d returned to the UK totally refreshed, relaxed and more confident. The nagging question was why did I feel so different? Thais appeared to have a more stress free life style and take day-to-day events less seriously than we do. Was this different outlook on life having such an influence on me?
It was not long before I met my ex wife in the garden. She came at me with an outburst of very coarse language. I took a lesson from the Thais. I smiled and walked away. From now on, I was going to avoid conflict.
I was due to see my doctor a few days after returning from abroad. After examining me, he seemed pleased that the medications he had given me had worked so well. He said I seemed much less tense, more relaxed than he had ever seen me before. Yes, he was pleased that the medication he had prescribed had been so successful.
Medications, medications? I tried to hold back a smile. I had not taken one single tablet during my whole time in Thailand with Toy. I had no need of his prescriptions. I had returned to the UK with the same number of pills that I had packed in my case when I left. He was about to sign me off as fit to return to work.
The doctor then said he’d better to do a routine test on my pulse rate and heart.
All was not well and he suggested I take an ECG to check out my heart. I left the surgery with an appointment card to see a specialist at the first available opportunity.
I was in daily contact with Toy but wondered whether I should tell her of this new development or not?
There was still no news on the house sale.
What’s next in Derek’s Story
https://understanding-thailand.com/escape-to-thailand-the-full-series/
And something on cross-cultural relationships
https://www.bing.com/search?q=cross+cultural+issues+and+beliefs&FORM=R5FD
