A ghost, a guitar, and a life cut short at 42. The story of Chai — a friend, a colleague, a father playing with his children on his last afternoon — and what his death revealed about Thai superstition, Buddhist tradition, and the very different way Thais grieve.
A ghost and a guitar.
Chai, one of Ying’s friends, died today. He was only 42. Ying had waved to him as she left the office at 4.30 after her day’s work. She got a phone call at seven o’clock to say he had passed away. News travels quickly in this country.
Ying hadn’t realised that waving Chai goodbye on leaving work would be the last she’d see of him.
But, chatting on the phone about the funeral arrangements, she learned he had taken the afternoon off, and gone home early. Chai had died when playing with his children after lunch.
Ying believes she had seen her friend’s spirit and not his human self when she waved to him on leaving work.
Thais can be very superstitious and many ghost stories are probably fabrications. But some people have made plausible claims to have seen ghosts and sometimes their accounts are verified by others.
The Monks Collect Chai’ s Possessions
Chai’s guitar, laptop, videos, and books were stacked in the corner of his home ready to be collected by the monks. It would be an act of merit, tamboon, to donate them to the wat.
We went to the temple in the morning, lit an incense stick, and placed it beside the coffin. Then we joined the rest of his family and friends who were seated round. Chatting about anything that comes to mind, but we didn’t mention his death or the ghost.
Buddhist belief is that death is a natural part of the lifecycle. No crying or weeping. It’s always a shock to the system for us foreigners when we see how Thais react to death and funerals. I understand it now but it took some getting used to.
If the deceased is laid to rest at home fans and air conditioning keep the room cool. Jars full of scented flowers and herbs can give off a pleasant perfume. Chai’s body lay in a refrigerated cabinet because it was at the temple and the building could become quite hot at times. In the summer months particularly refrigerated cabinets are used regularly.
A mini-bus will come tonight with his work colleagues so that they can pay their respects and be with the family. They won’t be able to go the cremation service in three days time as it would leave the office empty. Everyone wanted to go but realised the impossibility.
His boss and two senior staff will attend. Ironic really, because Chai did not get on with his boss. A pity that tradition could not have been changed so that two or three of his closest work mates could have taken the place of the top brass.
Another Death in our Hamlet
I learn something almost every day about Thai lifestyle. Keeping everyone informed through daily announcements on the village loudspeaker system normally works well. All the locals know what’s going on. Everyone is kept up to date on neighbourhood events. Upcoming events at the wat or school, new central government regulations and laws.
Today, I saw that it was not without its flaws.
Khun Lit, who gardened and did odd-jobs in the village, died on Tuesday and was cremated two days ago. Nobody in our hamlet knew he had passed away, so could not attend the rites or the cremation. I had spoken with his sister last week and was told he was still poorly.
He lived just a hundred metres outside our area. Lit’s death would have been reported on his village’s speaker network. But not on ours. In close communities boundaries are very rigid.
Although everyone thought that it was his, Lit did not own the 1/4 rai of land on which he grew his bananas. His ex-wife had transferred it to his sister following the divorce. Apparently, it was because the family feared he would sell it to fund his drinking habit.
Soon after the transfer, the sister sold the land to Sengdeuan who had allowed Lit to use the land as if it was his own for the rest of his days. He never knew of that sale.
Lit died at the age of 59 and Sengdeuan has started to merge the land with her own adjoining property.
Things are never what they really seem in Thailand. The Land of Smiles or the Land of Secrets?
To his dying day, Lit believed the land belonged to him. Sengdeuan told none of the neighbours. She supports the festivals and events at the wat, she pays her respects at funerals. She otherwise keeps her distance socially.
I was probably one of the few people in the village who knew the true story. Sengdeuan has always been very open with me about happenings in the community and she showed me the land documents. I think that is because she does not see me as part of the “jealous group” as she calls it.
For a full description on Ghosts, I recommend this article.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost
And for something a little different.
https://understanding-thailand.com/a-thai-cremation-the-story-of-seri/
